do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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