I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
