this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
