O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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