Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
