come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
