Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
