So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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