Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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