your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think I won the penis lottery.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
