There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
