Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
