so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
