I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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