Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
