Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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