We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize