dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
