just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
