So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
