Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Ketchup is God's man juice
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize