doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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