I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I am available for nakedness
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
