Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
