I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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