we have pet lesbian snakes
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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