May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
