im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
