is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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