how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
