I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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