Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
