Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
