he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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