Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
