the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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