so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
