I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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