I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I hope mine doesn't look like that
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
