Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
did i walk over a car last night?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
