I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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