normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
