yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
time to smoke my breakfast
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
