I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
