So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
