DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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