soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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