I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize