Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
