At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I could fuck to npr.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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