so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
