They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
