This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i drank out of a bidet.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize