I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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