Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize