ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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