i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
