i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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