Barsexuality is the new black.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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