they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
