Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
